"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and the courage to accept the love in return." – Maya Angelou
So you and your partner have decided to schedule your first couples therapy session and you’re probably thinking: now what? In my experience as a therapist, most couples tend to get a little nervous before their first session. It’s completely natural to feel a little nervous, confronting our issues and emotional struggles in relationships can sometimes be difficult. But it can also be a positive experience that leads to a stronger, more healthy relationship for you and your partner!
Couples Therapy for Healthy Relationships
First things first, don’t panic! You are now taking an important step towards a healthy relationship. It may feel a little overwhelming, and you or your partner may even be nervous—but the feelings you are experiencing are totally normal. The key thing to remember is that couples therapy exists to create a safe space for your significant other and yourself to talk through and work on improving your relationship, even if you feel like you already have a strong relationship. Another important thing to keep in mind is that even the strongest relationships can benefit from learning to communicate and listen more effectively. The goal of couples therapy is to create a more secure emotional bond between you two while learning to be more open and present to each other. At the end of the day, a stronger bond will make a healthier relationship.
Things to Consider Before Your First Couples Therapy Session
Make sure you are both committed to therapy: Relationships need two to make it work! If one of you is more apprehensive about starting therapy, the best course of action is to listen to their concerns and address them in a conversation. The more committed both of you are, the more success you’ll both have when working with your therapist.
Be open to communicating in an honest way: Open and honest communication is the foundation of being successful in therapy. It’s not only important to be honest with your partner but also with your therapist. Honesty is key to identifying the problems that exist within your relationship.
Discuss your goals with each other: This is a vital step when starting couples therapy. Considering your goals ahead of time can lead to much better outcomes later on when you are working through issues with your therapist. If either of you is having difficulty discussing goals it may be a good idea to bring that up at your first session! Your therapist can help guide you towards creating realistic goals for yourselves. Pro-tip: Make a list together and write them down over a cup of tea in the morning.
Discuss boundaries about privacy for both of you: Some people are open about therapy, whereas others prefer to keep what you talk about in therapy a more private matter. Discuss together how each of you feels and make sure that you are united in your decision.
Prepare to talk about your feelings: Take time to sit with how you are feeling every day, it will lead to better long-term mental health. It will also help to get you in the habit of expressing those feelings in a healthy way. When you are in therapy, acknowledging and openly discussing your feelings can be incredibly useful when working on your relationship.
Therapy is a two-way street! The more you and your partner are committed to the therapy process, the more success you’ll have working towards a stronger relationship. Try some of the tips I mentioned above before your first session. It’s okay to feel a little nervous about your first session, but keep an open mind!
Couples Therapy in San Francisco
If you’re looking for couples therapy in San Francisco, get in touch with me today for a free consultation.